♥ JOLEEN ♥

R.I.P (PART 1: DAY 1)

In case some of you guys might not know, my great-granddad passed away last saturday.

Today commence the end of the 5 days wake & funeral.
These 5 days was the most heart-wrenching and most tiring days i've experienced.
Why heart-wrenching? cos i get to see how my granddad cried till he couldnt take it and kneel down on the ground. From young, i never had a single cell that tells me i get to see him cry, not to say cry till this state.
Why tiring? Simple, cos i've to juggle between work and staying over at the wake. It's even worst then staying up the whole night for a sesion of Mahjong!

Not only so, during these 5 days, i get to realise many many things.
1. the soft side of my granddad
2. the bonding between our grandparents & grandchildren
3. how much we love our granddad
4. who are those who really cared
5. the ugly & greedy side of humans
6. how evil & fuck-up a person can get
7. how it hurts to lose someone you love
8. it's really time we start cherishing the people around us
9. how nasty humans become when they start to have evil thoughts
10. what kind of fucking family members i had unknowingly

Actually there are still many more but im just lazy to type down every single detail.
you might also notice that till now, i din mention anything that i miss my great-granddad, not that i don't, just that we are not that close so the feeling isn't that strong.

Anyway,
1st day
i was working mid-way on Sat till my aunt called and informed that great-granddad had passed away. At that point of time i don't even know wad i was thinking. i just feel that i should be there at once cos maybe that's the least i could do (though in between i was a lil reluctant as someone was being a bastard). So i left work half-way and took a cab down to NUH.
Once i reached, my aunt lead me into the ward, i took courage and walked in as i don't know how i would react to a lifeless cold corpse in front of me. When i look at him, my eye suddenly filled up with tears. He looks so freaking skinny with his eye socket & cheeks both sunken in. And to my horror, his eyes was not shut. i dare not look at him straight in the eye and my mom told me maybe he had some unfinished business or unfulfilled wishes.
But somehow my grandparents was nowhere to be seen and i heard from Rebecca that they went home to prepare for the wake. Not only so, she told me gong gong cried so hard that he hugged her while he cried. i went into a sudden silent and my heart sank. the feeling of heartache was difficult to describe.
Right after things was done & settle, i straight away went to gong gong's house.
When i saw him, i almost tear & my throat felt weird.
He looked sagged, down and he had a pair of swollen eye. When he saw me, he still bother to ask, "just finish work?" "eat already not?" "tired not?" when he look like he's the most tired around there. i stay for the night as the next day was Sunday.

and did i mention my great granddad had 11 children but ended up only my grandparents, me, chris, my aunt & her bf stay to "shou ye"! where the hell are the rest of the people? irresponsible bastard. if not for my gong gong, i don't even bother. for the night, we had to fold incense paper, burn them so that great granddad "don't get lost on the way" and this have to go on for the WHOLE night. and my stubborn gong gong, he jus like to do things that breaks my heart. he's old and he stubbornly wanna stay downstairs to sleep on hard cement floor! i know it's damn uncomfortable and it's breaking his back but as the eldest & a fillal son, he jus wanna stay by his dad's side.
while me and chris tried damn hard to open up our eyes & complete the given tasks, till 6am in the morning den we get to close our eyes for 3 hrs.

Conclusion for Day 1: Stop ordering us to do things when you people just laze around and do nothing! that's your dad for god sake! at least put on an act and show others how much you "love" your dad! Stop bully my gong gong & ah ma as well! fuck you. all the gu po & shu gong!

7:40:00 pm ·